2020: Not So 20/20

 I'm going to be like all the rest of the posts, videos and media, that will say 2020 was a trying year; for some way more than others.  One thing is for sure is people during any type of crisis show who they really are!  As uncomfortable as a lot of the bullshit is, at least we know now who are naughty and who are nice.  Much like a flashlight beaming on a batch of nasty cockroaches, many are now exposed.  This may sadly include some, if not all, of those whom we have trusted, enjoyed companionship and even loved will now need to be eradicated from our lives should we wish to survive, even thrive, going forward.

However, we are not out of the woods just yet.  Just because it's an end of a year, doesn't mean that this shitty disco party has come to end.  In fact, I'm counting on this boogie to continue to a while longer; riddled with more narcissism, racism and full-on rapid hand-flailing political bickering.  It's like having a sword fight aboard a sinking ship.  I'm already in the water, braving the elements, swimming for shore!  

While we can't truly escape these demons, no matter how far we swim, run, climb or even hide (damn, sounds like a typical fucking lucid nightmare); we can never outlast KARMA.  While I'm awaiting the vaccination to be available to my mom and I, I can't help but to realize that we are in a country that are amongst the "rich ones" that have bought more than their share (i.e., more than they need).  

Does that sound familiar with the whole toilet paper hoarding thing that keeps happening in a so-called "civilized" society?  While, yes, the roll-out has been quick, we have yet to see a systematic and sound protocol for how the distribution is to commence.  Even my mom's doctor's fucking confused!  That's bullshit!  

And what about the less developed countries, let alone the under represented people in the USA, namely the Native Americans; whose land was taken from them BY FORCE, and have been gravely exploited then and ever since?!?  I should say that "exploited" is putting it way too lightly.  How can there be any reconcile for rape, pillaging and genocide?  Those of them that are infected with COVID-19 are shoved into cheap hotels with little or no medical supplies (most importantly those life-saving oxygen tanks).

Now, we all know the axiom, "What comes around, goes around."  My question is, will these actions of taking more than you need and fucking over the rest have true consequences?  More boldly put, will all this somehow karmically backfire?  If so, then when?  It appears that there's been eons of unchecked prosperity for some people but not for other people.  It honestly frustrates me to think that that "coming around" bit ain't "going around" quite as I've been taught.  I hope I'm wrong.  Whoever has done the  wrong doing will get theirs in the end; perhaps even sooner than I thought.  That has to be right...right?

Even with all this, I still have a little fire in me that says things will turn around for the better.  See?  I still got hope.  That's something we CANNOT give up to ANYONE!!!  

Oh yeah, Happy New Year!  ;-)

The Red Button

 "Be there for yourself, you know?"

-Louise Hay

I meant to write this blog yesterday.  

Tomorrow is perhaps one of the most important days in US history and maybe even the world.  After the election is in the books, humanity will have changed forever; regardless who wins.  With the pandemic seemingly here to stay for a while longer, how things are handled will either flatten the curve or increase the spread of the virus.  The way the situation stands, I don't believe it is an exaggeration that we could face mass extinction: a complete annihilation of the human race.

For that reason, change is imperative if we are to survive.  Unfortunately, I would be surprised if that order will be coming around anytime soon.  For those that can "read between the lines" you know what I mean.  Let's just hope that, should the outcome yield a possibility for a positive turn in events, an EXECUTED plan will lead to unification, healing and the eradication of this horrible disease.  May the solution resonate throughout the world.  If not, we might just be a byproduct of the Earth healing itself and that it's US it's getting rid of.  

In short, we're fucking up.  God, I hope I'm wrong!          

Level 11

"If you make friends with yourself, you'll never be alone."

-Maxwell Maltz

Thank you for those that wished me a Happy Birthday.  Level 11 symbolizes not only my birthday on the 11th but also my age of 47...4+7=11.  This double digit number also represents alignment with one's purpose for the higher good.

In the age of awakening, healing of the self and the Earth are paramount; unfortunately at the cost of many, many lives and the deep grief endured by those beloved left behind.  We must take responsibility for our reckless and narcissistic behavior as a collective, if we are to survive and even thrive.

Noticed the weather has been slightly cooler where it is normally warmer?  Also, time that once moved faster, may have slowed back down just a little, though it is definitely still not back to "normal".  When our planet is healing, we as a collective are healing as well.  This is a great opportunity.  Let's not fuck this up; there may never be another one.

Mr. T-10 Days

Until then, enjoy this:

A Corona Please, Hold the Virus

I thought today is as good of a day as any to talk about what's on everyone's mind: the coronavirus or COVID-19.  While this illness is indeed spreading, causing death and destruction on a global scale, it is but a symptom of a greater and more devastating pandemic: fear.

Fear has been ever increasing, causing inflammation on the planet and in its inhabitants.  We can see this in global warming (which is very real, for those still living with "their heads in the sand"), increasing natural disasters and now our current state of affairs; which is sadly creating a great deal of mass hysteria and panic.

It is fair to say that our collective reaction to the disease is way worse than the disease itself.  To stipulate further, it has brought out more of what is already in us.  Much like an orange that can only produce orange juice when you squeeze it, the building pressure we as a society have placed on ourselves has amplified our narcissism tenfold; oozing out entitlement, neurosis, anger, despair, self-righteousness, racism, separatism and my personal favorite, covert ethnocentrism (racism's prettier and more sociably acceptable cousin...though much more damaging).

I'll give a brief example.  I've been a little "under the weather" this past week (thankfully recovering; it's NOT the coronavirus, just to clarify) and aware that the virus originally started out in China.  Being Asian and being sick may not be a great combination for someone living in a predominantly white middle class/working class neighborhood in the suburbs right now.  To that point, going to Walmart proved interesting last week.  I tried very hard to not talk or cough, moving briskly yet calmly to get all my items on my list.

I could feel the stares and the "Parting of the Red Sea" as I came through the aisles.  Now, it may be given that I was just a sick individual that people didn't want to be in contact with.  However, the blatant looks and the vibe was too hard to ignore.  No, not everyone was like that but the point is very clear.  I even managed to almost make it to my car without coughing.  I was a couple feet from the door when I had to let it out.  When I was done, I looked up and there was a white lady in her pickup truck glaring at me with a disapproving mouth gesture.  Would she have done the same thing if I was, say, white?  Possibly, though I'm willing to "bet the farm" that if she had, it wouldn't be to that degree of disgust.

Returning to the orange analogy, unlike an orange, we can change what's on the inside of ourselves.  We can choose.  It won't be easy, though I know it is certainly well worth working on.  We have and can create damage.  Is the opposite true?  Of course it is.

So in that example, what did I end up doing?  I first forgave the lady and all those that exhibited adverse behavior towards me.  Second, I forgave myself for attracting that situation to me.  Taking responsibility for my vibrational match to something like that is the only thing that I have 100% control over, given what happened.  Am I a saint?  Far from it!  I'm working on this as part of my life journey to be better.  And when I fall from grace, which happens more often than I'm willing to admit, I encourage myself and keep up the good work.  After all, why not?  Maybe good things will come my way as a result.  You know what?  Much of it already has.  For that, I am grateful.

Happy 84, Mom!

My mom was born in the Year of the Rat and today is her birthday.  This means she has completed seven cycles so far.  Way to go!

We should be so lucky to experience the same.  In fact, having full present awareness while life unfolds keeps us in as much positive light as possible.  I'll be sure to explain more about this in my next blog.

And on that note...
  
Thank you for everything.

I love you, Mom.

The Year of Heavy Metal

新年快樂 2020!

Happy Lunar New Year of the White Metal Rat 2020!

This year marks new beginnings, both as the zodiac sign (The Rat is the 1st of 12) and as the dawn of a new decade.  We will be entering new terrain; meaning new opportunities mixed with new challenges.

Now, I'm not an astrology expert or a fortune teller.  But I do think that astrology is an empirical study worth looking into.  All I know that when it comes to anything new, there are great possibilities: both good and bad.  But like a successful person once said, "The wind blows on us all.  What makes the difference is the set of the sail.".

In other words, it depends on our mindset.  I've recently adopted a term from stoic philosophy "Amor Fati".  It means to embrace change, as it is a part of life.  Did the computer gobble a manuscript that took hours to write?  Amor Fati.  Was there a business deal that went wrong?  Amor Fati.  Passed up for a promotion?  Amor Fati.

For me, Amor Fati was nearly impossible in the beginning to accept.  With the death of my beloved Lupa, among many personal things going terribly wrong in my life, the concept seemed to be for those whose lives didn't face real tragedy but minor inconveniences.  However, as I came to look for the lesson in each seeming misfortune, the idea made more sense.

It has now been a supportive mantra of mine every time something bad happens.  When life seems bleak, I say, "Amor Fati"; not because I want it to happen but because there is within it something that will make me stronger.  Of course, I'm still learning this, so it's not easy.  Overall, I feel I'm getting better at it.  It keeps me prepared for any stormy seas that might be ahead.

We can choose to remember that
with every challenge, there is a lesson;
with every lesson, there is a solution;
with every solution, there is always hope;
with hope there is certainly joy;
and with joy there is definitely a better life and a better world.

恭喜發財!

Happy Olympic New Year 2020!

"You can leave life right now.  Let that determine
what you do and say and think." 

-Marcus Aurelius 

Happy Olympic New Year!

This year is extra special:

1. It's the beginning of a new decade.
2. It's an Olympic year.
3. Come the Lunar New Year on the 25th (Gregorian calendar), it's the Year of the Rat; my mom's sign.
4. The Lunar New Year happens to fall on my brother's birthday.
5. It's the only year that when said as "twenty, twenty" also means perfect vision.
6. 2020 is a symmetrical number; repeating twice.  We'll have to wait until 3030 for another.
7. 2020 just sounds cool to say; seems for futuristic, right?
8. We can make this year extra special for ourselves, if we want.

While I may add more here, I'll update on how the year is going to so far (I bookmarked this entry on January 1st and written it on January 18th).

I'd say thus far, things have been going well over all.  Of course, I have my own personal demons and dragons to slay but in the aggregate, I have never felt more aligned than I do now (and this is coming from someone who tends to be more on the pessimistic side).  I can actually feel I can get things moving for real this time.

Below are just a few pictures, including a couple of successful trades (the 1st pict, the T-Bond trade, is my current personal best.  Not the big bucks yet but I'm working to get there).  The last two photos probably need a little explaining...

So here it goes.  At the end of last year and practically everyday since, I've been seeing with great frequency repeating numbers like 11 11, 111, 222, 333, 444, 555, etc.  I've also seen other kinds of sequences, like 911, 411 and 1212.  I see them not just on a thing that tells time, but see them on signs, TV, license plates, etc.  I even saw the number 3 repeated on a banner hanging over the stadium rails of a basketball game by one of the spectators (I think it was Purdue vs. Michigan State on TV, while I was at the gym last Sunday, 1/12/20).

I'm not exactly sure what it means but I'm guessing it's a sign to pay attention and remain focused on the task at hand.

To prove that I did indeed see these repeating numbers, I've posted those last two picts here.  You can see that on January 4th, I saw 444 and on January 11th, I saw 11 11.  Any one of these sequences can repeatedly reveal themselves several times a day (e.g. today I saw 111, 411, 1212, among others).  Referring to the final pict, I had a trade on the S&P 500 E-Mini (trade symbol ES, here @ESH20) last week on the 15th with a reward to risk ratio of 4:44 to 1.  I swear I did NOT plan that.  I'm just glad that it worked, so I have a cool story to share.  I find the whole thing a bit bizarre; all while welcoming these occurrences at the same time.

Looking to have a great year, a great decade and, of course, a great day.  It won't be easy, though I'm going to put my best effort forward to see if these repeating numbers pan out to be anything.  I have a feeling it will.