If you asked me three years ago about this stuff, I would have rejected it completely. My explanation, like perhaps some people's explanation reading this, was that it was simply crafty manipulation of the mind. I practically rejected the concept of God and spirituality, so what would you expect, right?
So what changed?
To be honest, at this moment, I'm not quite sure. Maybe it was a series of near-death experiences in recent years. One I clearly remember was my Acura NSX spinning out of control several times, crossing all lanes on a slippery highway in Connecticut before coming to a complete stop, pointing in the right direction safely. My friend and I could see the many cars zipping by us, and even saw the oncoming headlights as we swung in the view of the heavy traffic headed toward us.
Maybe it was the numerous deaths in the past few years that made me wonder about life after death even more than ever. The big one for me was the death of our family's beloved German Shepard, Truffie, who died in 2011. I figured at that time, with my near death experiences and the recent passing of loved ones, that certainly there was a higher power at work. It was my only way I could cope with the pain and keep them alive in my heart.
In my quest for answers about life, death and suffering, I stumbled upon the concept of karma, reincarnation and past lives. Like a child, I was curious especially about past lives. One reason I was curious was to just simply see if it exists. The second was to search for solutions to re-occuring adverse patterns in my life, to which I found no solution for. Could it be a lesson that I haven't learned yet, doomed to repeat lifetime after lifetime?
So I went for it and gave it a try. First, I learned that the majority of our mind, as we know it, lies in our subconscious, while a small fraction lies in our conscious. It is in the subconscious where we can take the journey to face limiting beliefs, caused by unresolved issues from past lives. Second, I discovered that, through an expert guiding me, I could bear witness to these past lives and begin the process of healing.
I now open up my subconscious with you...
I was taken to two past lives in this meditation journey. I will only summarize here:
The first, I was a Caucasian woodsman in a forest, perhaps in America or Europe. It was the evening and I was a distance away from a campfire that my family gathered around. As my wife and three children were enjoying the fire, one of my sons falls in! I run trying to rescue him, pulling him out, rolling him in the dirt and throwing water on him. The severely burned child dies in my arms. My wife and children are hysterical in reaction to the tragedy. My wife blames me for what happened, gets our children to side with her and ousts me to live and eventually die a lonely broken man.
The second life I was perhaps in the Mediterranean, maybe Egypt. I was to be the heir to a mighty kingdom. I was standing on the edge of the balcony in a luxurious palace. I seemed troubled and at first not sure why. In that instant, I recall falling in love with a peasant woman, who I visited in the marketplace everyday. It was forbidden to be in love with a commoner and by marrying her, I would have to relinquish my throne. My father was furious and it was at the end of the heated confrontation was where I stepped in the meditation. I was so heartbroken and mentally tortured that I jump off the balcony and fall many stories down. I crashed onto the jagged rocks below near the ocean and die instantly. Midway during the fall, I could recall regretting what I have done but it was too late.
My guide went through a series of healing exercises, while I was still in meditation after each lifetime. I could remember vividly looking at each of my loved ones asking for forgiveness, including who I was in that lifetime. I asked for forgiveness also of my kingdom's people, who I have betrayed by committing suicide.
It was truly healing because I was able to resolve, with the help of my guide and the meditation, reoccurring themes in my life that served as roadblocks to my progression. The burden of guilt that I have carried for eons has now been released and the healing has begun. I take complete responsibility for taking my life in one lifetime and have dispelled the false self-blame for the death of my son in the other I journeyed to. I know that all the healing won't happen overnight, but that it will take time. I feel at peace that I'm going in the right direction, and feel self-assured that everything will be all right.
Thank you.
